Guess who’s back…

Is honesty really the best policy?

I’ve always tried to be as brutally and humiliatingly honest when it comes to these stories…largely because it’s all anonymous, so what is there to lose? But also, there’s just so much in day to day life that you have to hide. Not necessarily tell bold face lies about, but truth tweak? a tiny tale? another clever alliteration that wittingly describes the little day to day lies we all have to tell?

It might not seem like a lot but it’s been tickling at me, and it was really brought to the forefront of my consciousness today in an interview. I was asked the typical, “which one of our company’s values best describes you?” To which I replied, “honesty I think. I’m a what you see is what you get kind of person.” Now…even as those words escaped my mouth…I knew I’d messed up…because the truth is I know even know what kind of person I am.

I’ve changed a lot. I’m confident now, I think people are drawn to me a bit more. When I’m out meeting new people — I feel comfortable. I still have my bad days don’t get me wrong, I am by no means healed or “cured” or even broaching towards emotionally stable- but I think I’m feeling better. Which has led me onto a whole other type of dilemma…I’m not really sure who I am without the mental illness clouding me?

Hence why I’m back — I’m using Medium again, this has always been a place for me to work through whatever I’m going through. And I guess at least for now, what I’m going through an kind of identity crisis? Identity transformation? Am I an identity…phoenix? No, I’m nowhere near that elegant, but an identity transition of some sort…

But alas, I diverge. I am back on here because I need a safe space to work through whatever it is I’m trying to work through. So yes, I’m back, and thank you for having me and thank you for listening!

More in depth stories to follow!